mother hearts

I know that Mother's Day is fraught with all kinds of emotions for lots of people, especially having grown up in a very motherhood-centric culture. I totally respect that—not everyone is a mother, not everyone has a good relationship with their mothers, or with their kids for that matter. I get it. As a not-yet-mother myself, I get it. (I think I do?) I also hear criticism about the holiday as a meaningless gesture to point out once every 365 days that moms work hard so we should buy them flowers and take them to brunch and send them cards. Okay, that's fair too—but isn't that the point of a holiday? (Or "holiday," in the case of days like Secretary's Day or Valentine's Day or whatever.) That we make that day special for the people we are honoring? (Does that mean birthdays are out of the question too??) I definitely think that we should remember Christ's birth and resurrection on days other than Christmas and Easter, but that doesn't make me a stooge about those days. You know? But even the creator of Mother's Day (a never-married, non-mother herself) was bitter about the eventual commercialization of the holiday so I guess we can all give a little wiggle room for the complaints.

Anyway, that was a little bit of a side rant. Sorry.

I have been thinking a lot about moms and motherhood and how this holiday sneaks up every year and I always feel like I can't adequately honor my mom—especially since she lives across the country from me! This year I didn't even send out the greeting card that Anna Jarvis would have frowned upon anyway, because it just... snuck up on me. As if I need another reason to feel guilty that I probably don't call my mom enough as it is. Boo, Hannah.

But I guess I'll take this soapbox of mine anyway and just say how awesome my mom is, and how awesome Robbie's mom is, and how awesome my grandmas are, and how awesome our older sisters are (who are both moms themselves and are like moms for us in a big way, since they all raised us too). Blog posts and cards and brunches don't really adequately provide a big enough thanks for the lessons they have taught us or for the best qualities they have passed on to us. It's sort of equivalent to the guy getting up in testimony meeting and saying he wants to take the opportunity to publicly tell his wife he loves her. Right? But I'm doing it anyway. Thanks, Mom, and Diane, and Grandma and Grandma and Bonny and Dawn and Phoebe and Eliza and Carrie and Bonnie and Keena.

Then there are my non-family moms. I have had countless "work moms" and "school moms" that have shared in my joys and sorrows and taught me numerous life lessons in the physical absence of my own mother, and there are my friends that I met when they were already moms, and old friends that I've seen become moms and grow in that role. Of course there are my friends who are not moms or yearn so badly to be moms that care deeply about their friends, families, coworkers, and are so in tune with the needs of other people that I look up to them as moms in a way. I've always liked Julie Beck's talk "A 'Mother Heart'" because we all can probably think of a long list of people off the top of our heads that are blessed with "mother hearts." Thanks, friends and work/school moms.

Finally, I've also been thinking a lot about the notion of Heavenly Mother, which is a hot topic in the Mormon blogosphere these days (or, always, I guess). I just came across this (longish) article published in BYU Studies a couple of years ago titled "A Mother There: A Survey of Historical Teachings about Mother in Heaven." Personally I've never doubted the existence of both a Heavenly Father and Mother, and some Mormons get weird about it, but this article has some really great sentiments about Heavenly Mother from General Authorities (past and present) that just make me really want to cultivate that mother heart of mine. Thanks, Heavenly Mother.

So, on this Mother's Day weekend, thank the moms and the mother hearts in your lives. Or at least be extra nice to them. It's an honor to be in their presence.