Really, I do want to love you, pretty young thing!

Michael!

I've already said it before, but you could have been great! I weep whenever I hear news about the upcoming auction of your estate! I didn't even really mind you in this stage:

But now it has just gone too far. (Okay, I know it's all old news. But sometimes I just really miss MJJ's nose.)

Why are you so crazy? Why do you dress like Peter Pan? (Like this guy?)

Stop the madness already. I know you have issues. It just pains me to hear how weird you are.

Check out more auction items here. (Seriously, it's worth a click. And so is the other Peter Pan impersonator.)