(This isn't the first time I've tried to find a clip from The Sound of Music on YouTube and failed—but this one is pretty funny.)
I have had a couple of things on my mind the past couple of days that have really been weighing on me and just wanted to write down. I promise these things are related to each other, sort of.
Item the first. As you probably know, I finally finished grad school. Officially, I graduated a couple of weeks ago. I have spent so many years in school and trying to stay afloat and also get ahead that I've had a hard time adjusting to the competitive post-graduate world. Wait, let me complicate things by adding a recession to the mix. I consider myself a pretty confident person, but deep down inside, I am full of doubts about myself. I mean, I spent two years and way too much money to get a degree that says "I'm qualified!" yet I still feel like I'm not good enough to try for things that might just be a little out of my reach, or things that are a little ambitious. Tell me, friends—what kind of pep talk do you give yourself during these moments? As for me and my house, I rely on my rapier wit and green-eyed charm. Just kidding.
Item the second. The internet is an interesting and inspiring place, but also hateful and sad at times. I just found a website yesterday dedicated to hating on other people's blogs. Like, personal (and frequent) attacks on people they don't know. Really? That really got me down and I couldn't stop dwelling on it last night and kept saying "This person really must not have many friends" and Robbie finally said "Take your own advice and close the browser already!" (He didn't say exactly that but I am sure that's what he was thinking.) Personally, I already have problems comparing myself to other people I meet in person, but then you add the blogging boom of the 2000s and you've got whoa! potentially lots more of those problems. I've had to change my attitude about my opinions on what other people find interesting and inspiring and I feel pretty satisfied with the end result, which is a lot fewer blogs in my RSS feed—although I will admit, I still have a folder of blogs called "people I don't know in person" that I read and enjoy and comment on and then pretend like we are friends in real life. I only speak the truth.
Anyway, that's what I'm thinking about. Does anyone else have the desire to watch The Sound of Music now? Just me? Okay then.
i will watch sound of music with you anyday. i live for that movie . and doubting yourself? girl. do you remember how quickly you landed that job?
ReplyDeleteand ugh. that website. i don't even think it's worth talking about.
About the only pep talk I know is the "I can do hard things" pep talk. and I think it's a pretty good one. It's not false. It's not unrealistic. (though can be difficult to fulfill). It reminds me I have something to offer, even if I'm not measuring up exactly to whatever it is. Then I take an honest look at my skills (and faults if not a pep talk but more introspective moment) and go for it.
ReplyDeleteAlso, go big or go home, right? Home can even be pretty nice especially after you've tried for the awesomest thing.
I can totally relate to item the first. And when I doubt, I remember there are other things make me awesome. Like dancing. I have confidence in my above average, amazing dancing skillz.
ReplyDelete"I still have a folder of blogs called "people I don't know in person" that I read and enjoy and comment on and then pretend like we are friends in real life. I only speak the truth."
ReplyDeleteamen. amen. That is your blog to me girly. however. we have now met! so do we count as real friends?!
on another note-I just remember that all those post-grad people in the world had to start somewhere. and then i imagine them picking their nose or something else universally embarrassing.
i like the new profile picture and format. maybe it's been here a while. google reader makes miss out on that stuff.
ummmm...I think you know my answer to the question about The Sound of Music. The Untersberg kept leading me higher and higher as though it wanted me to go right through the clouds with it.
ReplyDeleteI want to see the hater blog. I understand why you don't want to link to it though. But it's probably better if I don't read it anyway. Can't imagine it's worth my time, any more than watching clips of Austin Powers is worth my time which is what I have just been doing. How did it get to be 10 pm all of a sudden?
P.S. I have confidence in you too. Let's get together...yeah yeah yeah?
ReplyDeleteYou know, I actually was meaning to ask some advice from you. I was going to say that I noticed how confident you were and I wanted suggestions on how I could be more confident in myself. Haha! Well, I guess everyone has problems with comparing themselves to others sometimes. And apparently you come across as very confident. You're awesome. The end. P.S. I might not be moving back to Utah anymore but I will probably go to a single's ward though. Any suggestions as to where I should live? I'm confused with where to go next in my life!
ReplyDeleteyou don't want to see the hater blog.
ReplyDeletei don't comment much anymore, but i still like your blog (which is in my folder of people i have only met briefly in real life) because you seem to be doing awesome things frequently and it reminds me to keep doing awesome things, too. right. and it reminds me i really do want to finish grad school--congratulations on that btw.
ReplyDeleteI want to see the hater blog.
ReplyDeleteAnd I think you have proven that you can do anything you set your mind to!
This is your mother speaking - from her little corner of the desk in the family room now that the hutch and the piano have moved into the room too - you can do anything you set your mind too.
ReplyDeleteAnd you inspire me!!
i'm heavily medicated myself.
ReplyDeleteregarding item the first, I usually listen to ABBA and then Baz Luhrmann's "Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen". Not quite a pep talk, but it tends to keep the negative hypothetical situations that run wild through my head at bay, and reminds me they are just hypothetical. It also reminds me how I believe ABBA could bring world peace.
ReplyDeleteregarding item the second, I think I know the site and it's awful. It's sad that people think spewing that much hate anywhere, even if it isn't face to face, is okay. And I agree with your statement about blogs of people you don't know. (clearly.)
Love this post. Love that other people feel the same way I do, although I don't love that that isn't always a good feeling. Here is the bright side to all this, you are in my folder of people I like but have never met, and that folder would never exist without the internet. So that's something.
ReplyDeleteditto to what julie said!
ReplyDeleteWe hardly ever spent time together back in your Provo days, and yet I still read your blog faithfully. Why? Because, as your mom said, you inspire me. You are brave, fun, honest, and always true to yourself. I'm even thinking about getting back into the blogging world because people like you make it a happier place... thanks!
ReplyDeleteafter we went to the pool, I seriously whittled down my blog list. our conversation made me realize that I was reading lots of blogs just because I felt like I "should" be reading them and like I was supposed to be interested in certain things, but they were just SO emotionally draining on me. it's been so liberating to cut some of that out. it's empowering to feel like my choices are deliberate.
ReplyDeleteI am still trying to come up with a good pep talk-- but I am realizing more and more how universal that self-doubt is. I kind of feel like there's a gap between me and the real world (where people are super qualified and successful?), and I'm not quite sure how to jump over the gap. I have to remind myself constantly that I'm the only one blocking my path, and if there is something I want, I have to give it the old college try, and if it doesn't turn out the way I hope, then I will learn from that experience. And then I feel super cheesy. Plus, I have not yet applied this to any practical decisions, just hypothetical ones in my head.
I rented the Sound of Music from netflix recently and Bria and I watched it EVERY. DAY. for two weeks (no joke). We love love love it. But Bria got mixed up somewhere and can only say "ramia" instead of "maria." it's hilarious.
I love making long comments, can you tell?
the idea of that blog is bumming me out. can't we all just get along?
ReplyDeleteand as far as self-pep-talks go, I just keep thinking "you is good. you is kind. you is important.". so I guess I have the Help on my mind?
yep. the blogs sounds disgusting. sad.
ReplyDeleteon a brighter note, i like many of the above comments have you filed in "the people i don't but wish we were real life friends tab" too.
oh annnnnd i think you're awesome that you got your masters. really. i'm struggling with pre-algebra in school right now. lame? ya.
1. When I saw that clip before I even read, I was like, OMG, because I love that song. I sing it in my head. A lot these days.
ReplyDelete2. What I can say in the way of being overwhelmed with finding jobs is not much. But having had many panic attacks as a result, I just let myself feel those feelings, then regroup. Deep breaths. Remembering that things have been scary in the past and it turned out all right.
3. What's wrong with people that they have to have a hate blog? One thing I like about becoming an adult is that you start to care less and less about what people think. It's very freeing.
I looked at the blog and found it quite boring actually. People who are members of her blog quite honestly sound like the kind of people who don't venture from home much.
ReplyDeleteI wish I had a pep talk to share with you. I read a blog post recently (on a blog of a person I don't know IRL, but I'm sure I would like her) about stretching yourself and doing things you've always told yourself you couldn't. It was inspiring. For instance, I'm not a morning person. But I'd like to be a morning person. So who's to say that I can't just become a morning person? I am the only one who can decide that. There's no reason I can't do it if I want to.
Don't know if that helps about the whole rat race thing. But it helps in my life. Even at work too I guess. It has been a slow start for me and I keep saying it's because I'm just coming back after a new baby. But there's no reason I can't just buckle down and do a good job while I'm there, or get a babysitter once in a while and pound out better work from home.
Basically there's never any good reason to be less than your best. Except occasionally. Give yourself a break occasionally, and enjoy being subpar for a while. :)
Last thing, something which sets you apart from others, in the working world or otherwise: You are friendly and at ease with almost anyone, which is more than most of us can say about ourselves. That is a serious God-given talent.